Following skipper Steve Smith’s stunning admission that he and senior players conspired to tamper with the ball in the Third Test against South Africa, the Australian cricket team has bolted up a staggering 7 places to take the number 1 ranking as the most corrupt cricket organisation in the world. The International Cricket Council itself had previously held the top spot for 6 straight years.
Today the ICC publicly congratulated Steve Smith and his team for this outstanding achievement, and said it will have to evaluate how to lift its own game in corruption and incompetence.
“Taking the title from us was a huge effort,” said ICC CEO David Richardson in Dubai. “After all, we at the ICC wrote the book on corruption and have worked very hard for years to maintain that number 1 status. But the Aussies pulled off a blinder this week and it looks like they will keep the title for some time.”
Internal sources told HitWicket.News that the ICC thought its #1 ranking was assured considering its years of being on the take from Indian cricket corporations and illegal bookmakers, and its recent shambolic reversal of Kagiso Rabada’s suspension. Nevertheless, they were blindsided by the sudden and devastating coup pulled off by Steve Smith, Cameron Bancroft and the Aussie team leadership group.
“We were blown away like we were facing a sudden spell of reverse swing,” said Richardson. “We’ll have to find some way to get our number 1 spot back. We may even have to resort to some tried and true tactics like kowtowing publicly to India or reducing bans on match fixers and spot fixers like we did with Mohammad Amir.”
The Board of Control for Cricket in India has not commented publicly, but is said to be seething that it has dropped to number 3 in the rankings, the first time it has been out of the top 2 since 2003. The Indian Premier League and Zimbabwe Cricket make up spots 4 and 5 respectively.
The England and Wales Cricket Board has managed to maintain a place in the international top 10, thanks largely to its 6-month campaign of naming disgraced street brawler Ben Stokes in its Test, ODI and T20 squads.
A recent bolter into the top 10 is the Bangladesh Cricket Team, following its recent childish display in the final of the Nidahas Trophy in Colombo, where it demolished a dressing room door in Colombo and failed to have anyone accept responsibility.
Current World Rankings for Most Corrupt Cricket Organisation:
- Australian Cricket Team
- International Cricket Council
- Board of Control for Cricket in India
- Indian Premier League
- Cricket Zimbabwe
- Pakistan Super League
- Pakistan Cricket Board
- England and Wales Cricket Board
- West Indies Cricket Board
- Bangladesh Cricket Team
by John Newell